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Memories of Past Holidays!

December 8, 2021 by nancy 1 Comment

The Holidays are coming upon us and like many I am sitting her reflecting on this past year and what will the holidays be like this year. 

My parents both had the same type of lung cancer and passed within months of each other this year.  My Mom died on March 12th, 2021 and later my Dad on August 25th, 2021.  I was blessed to hold both of their hands when they took their last breath.

I had to keep as healthy as I could, (in a pandemic).  This included mind, body and spirit to deal with all of this on my own.  Sadly my Brother passed 15 years ago so I had to weather this storm with the help of friends and family.   Illness, and tragedies bring out the best and worst of people.  I have found out who could stand by me this year and who I had to leave behind.  This was a whole other lesson which presented itself this year.

As expected my life has been a rollercoaster of emotions.  One minute it seems I am laughing at something only I find funny, the next I am teary  over something silly, or angry at the weatherman on TV.

My kids and I moved into my parents house full time after my Mother died in March.  We had many wonderful days with my Dad and through all of our sadness we still managed to create a multitude of memories together and grew very close.  My Dad, kids and I watched many of his favorite gold tv series, business and survival shows along with our daily dose of nightly news. 

He loved the simple things in life, a bowl of hot oatmeal, coffee in the morning and talk of what was on the menu for lunch and dinner. He would always joke “lets see what the talking heads are saying today!” 

My Mom and I always marveled at how smart he and my Brother were.  We always said, “if we had a question about world events, your Dad or Brother would know the answer!”  My Mom was the entertainment queen, she had a knack about knowing about useless random entertainment information.  I really wished I could hear her talk to my Dad about some silly fact now.

She also knew the history of our family connections, better than my Dad and I.  We always joked, “what would we do without her, we will not know how extended family members are related to us or their names now.”  I now find myself  asking, “how am I related to them?” 

People have asked me how I found the strength to get through this past year?  When I look back I think often I was on autopilot going through the motions of sickness, doctors appointments, administering medications, cooking, and all of the caretaking duties. 

Each of their deaths was a very different experience, planning their funerals, selling my parents house, (they lived in the same house for 57 years), handling their estate matters whilst being a Mother to two young children.

It is funny how life can change in a heartbeat.  During the Covid-19 Pandemic I lost both part time jobs, however this gave me the gift of time.  Precious beautiful time to be with both my parents at the end of their lives. 

I reminisce one year ago today and I still had them both.  We were planning a special Christmas celebration as we knew their days were limited.  I remember decorating the fireplace mantel with decorations galore and beautiful twinkling lights for my Mom.  She sat on the chair directing me to place each light, decoration just so.  One of our favorite things about Christmas was filling the outdoor urns with greenery and the soft glow of white lights twinkling in the night.  She loved opening gifts too, my Daughter and I made special advent bags for each of my parent to open, they loved it.

Keeping with tradition I baked dozens of her Christmas squares, the ones with the green and pink icing, the peanut butter balls, Laura’s brownies and the butter tart squares. I learned her famous pie crust recipe and couldn’t stop baking pies, tarts and Mom’s secret crust leftover recipe.

Grateful for the time I had with my Mom, I learned many of her favorite recipes.  The one thing she told me was before she passed was, “feed your Dad well and he will be happy!”  She was so worried and rightfully so about what would happen to my Dad after she was gone.  I can still hear her saying, “What about Paul, what will he do?”  It was heartbreaking to witness the fragility of the human soul and to watch both my parents be robbed of their dignity with how cancer stole their health.

My Dad was a real trooper after Mom passed, he was so happy with all of her recipes I made him when she was gone. Near the end, it was difficult for him to swallow and eat certain things but I fed him till the very end his favorites, keeping my promise to my Mom!

I am ever so grateful I had started a family recipe book with many of my Mom’s recipes handwritten by her.  She would sit on the couch and watch me cook, and tell me a to add a little of this or a little of that.  She told me special things she did with her recipes, where to buy the best beef for ribs, how to thicken the gravy and more. 

Funny since they both passed, I haven’t made any of her recipes or done any baking.  I am sure once I feel like it again, it will bring back fond memories.

I created beautiful outdoor big winter greenery pots on her deck, she loved them.  She always made her own bows out of beautiful materials.   I used to laugh at them when I was younger, but now I cried when I put the on my greenery display and wreaths this year.  

I remember like it was yesterday standing outside on the deck in the cold asking her if this is here she wanted the pinecones, dogwood, holly or move it to the left a little.  I remember her appreciative beaming smile and her thumbs up! 

My Mom loved Christmas, like her Mother.  Her Mother lived all year for Christmas, last year sadly was the last year we put up my Grandmothers Christmas tree at my parents house.  It had broke when I took it down last year, I never told my Mom.  I knew in my heart that would be the last Christmas we would be having at their house.

Their beautiful house of 57 years sold this past November,  I wonder if the new family will be decorating the fireplace mantel or putting any outdoor lights up.  So many memories of Christmas’s gone by.

This year my family and I are going to be spending a different kind of Christmas.  We will be flying to the Caribbean in one week.  I thought it would be good to go somewhere completely different this year, the kids are excited.

It has been one year since I have made a blog post, if you have read this far I thank you.  I know my heart is filled with more thoughts, memories and stories to come, they say writing is therapeutic. 

Love you Mom & Dad I know you are with me every step of the way, miss you everyday…..Merry Christmas in Heaven!

 

Talk soon,

 

 

Nancy

Filed Under: Travelling Thoughts Tagged With: both parents died, cancer, caregiver, daughter remembering parents, death of parents, grief, heaven, Holidays, memories

Be Kind to Each Other The World Needs It!

December 20, 2018 by nancy Leave a Comment

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The busy holiday season is upon us with just one week before Christmas Day.  Lunch hour came and went however the memory of what made the day still lingers.  Much can be accomplished on a one hour lunch break, thoughts of going for lunch with friends, last minute shopping or a walk around Riverside Park in the sunshine. 

Choosing the latter option was a great chance to stretch the legs and clear the mind with a little time in nature.  A favorite path at Riverside Park which has been referred to the, “Bridge to Bridge walk”.  The walk started from the East side of the Speed River walking trail accessed from the Speedvale Ave. Bridge towards the Woodlawn Bridge.  As the footsteps rounded the pathway just meters from the low lying woods near the Woodlawn Bridge, there it was glittering in the sunlight. 

The beautifully decorated 3.5 ft. small pine tree was easy to spot just to the left of the path. Tiny red bows, a set of battery operated colorful lights, and a few ornaments adorned this tree in the woods. Underneath the tree lay a few presents marked with a Christmas tag which read, “To:  You, From: Secret Santa” A card dangled on the tree in a plastic sleeve marked, “PLEASE READ ME!” 

Looking around to see if anyone else was around besides the birds flying above.  Nostalgic feelings of past Christmas’s were brought up which brought a smile.  The card read, “Season’s Greetings to EVERYONE WHO READS THIS…..”  It spoke about random acts of kindness and Christmas being a time of giving.  “If you receive a gift, please enjoy it and consider doing a little something to pay it forward.  I hope it brings delight to all who notice it.” 

The world can be such a very busy place, Thank you to the kind soul who took the time to leave this very thoughtful message.  “Be as Kind as you can as the world needs it!”  This certainly made the day and helped to restore joy in the holiday season.  Hopefully many will benefit from this beautiful Act of Kindness!

 

Talk soon, 

 

Nancy

Filed Under: Travelling Thoughts, Uncategorized Tagged With: Be Kind, christmas, Christmas Tree, Guelph, guelphproud, Holidays, Random Act of Kindness, Riverside Park, Secret Santa, wandering wellington county

It is a Wonderful Life!

December 13, 2014 by nancy 2 Comments

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“Every time you hear a bell ring, it means that some angel’s just got his wings.”

This is one of my favourite Holiday Movies. “It’s a wonderful life, (1946) “. It doesn’t matter how many times I watch this movie it brings tears to my eyes. I am sure I am not alone in this. James Stewart plays George Bailey in the movie. It is a bittersweet tale of George who feels like a failure financially, becomes depressed with his state of affairs and is contemplating suicide on Christmas Eve. He wishes he was never born. Clarence, who plays his angel in the movie tries to teach him lessons and show him what life would be like without him.

This time of year can evoke such emotions in us. We often think of those loved ones who have departed, family members who may be ill or those ongoing family rifts. There are such expectations for this time of year. Often we expect everyone to be happy and merry in our gatherings. I guess it would make things a lot merrier if we could just all get along. My hope for the holiday season is to try to lower my expectations of others.

I really pondered the meaning of Christmas this past Monday morning, while waiting with my 7-year-old daughter for her bus. She said “Mom is Santa a real person”?” I replied “Of course he is real, but he has magical powers; kind of like a superhero”. Her next question was “Well why do we have Christmas”? I then replied “Well we celebrate Christmas so we can all be together, like a party”. She said “Well why are we having a party”? I then told Meaghan “it is like a birthday party because we are celebrating the birthday of ‘Baby Jesus”. She then replied “Well who is Baby Jesus”. Well I am sure there would be more questions but the bus pulled up and picked up my little Meg’s and off she went. I went in the house poured myself yet another coffee and thought much about those questions which came from the “mouth of babes.”

I do love this season, not just for the gift giving but for the true meaning of Christmas. To me it seems the world is just a little kinder this time of year. We all seem to be a little more generous with our fellow-man. Many of us try to help out those less fortunate. There just seems to be a spirit which seems to flow more in the air than other times of the year. Perhaps it makes those cold winter days and nights a little warmer,brighter with the lights flickering, the stocking hung, the logs in the fire.

I hope you will have many happy times with your family and friends and celebrate the magic of the season which is upon us. You just have to believe. Do you believe? I love the end of the movie when George Bailey despite all his adversities realizes all he has and declares “It is a wonderful life!”

Clarence: “Strange, isn’t it? Each man’s life touches so many lives, when he isn’t around he leaves an awful hole, doesn’t he”?

Talk soon ~

Nancy

Filed Under: Inspirational Moments Tagged With: christmas, Family, Holidays, love, movies

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