THE LAST STORY
This is your last story Grandma.
My dear lovely beautiful girl passed away on Dec. 20 at about 7:00 am. I held her hand all that night as she lay in the hospital bed with uncertainty in her eyes. She was hesitant about passing on to the next stage of her life. We all wonder what it looks like…….what the white light we hear about is? She just kept staring and I knew it was her time and the angels where hovering and that I didn’t have a lot of time left with her. I knew in my heart that afternoon when my mother called and said your Grandma is not feeling well, a little something in me told her it was to be her last visit to the hospital. I immediately felt guilt for not going to see her earlier, and the overwhelming “I wish I had more time with her set in”. I carried on with my day but knew I would not probably be able to talk with her again, as Mom told me she wasn’t really making sense, and couldn’t really talk too much.
I would always love to share my ups and downs of life with my Grandma. She really listened attentively to everything I told her, even all the mundane trivial things. We always felt she genuinely cared for us and she would always ask questions or comment on something you might have told her a week or month before. Her mind was very sharp. You would always feel her presence with when you visited either in person or on the phone. Unless you where playing a game of scrabble with her that was different story. For her this was her great passion and escape. She would be scheming her next move, and the words she used, she was such an intelligent women. She would not let you make any words up either, she had her dictionaries close at hand.
Grandma would never want to hurt anyone or anything and she had a knack of always making you feel special. If she did think she had said something out of step or unintentional she would fret and lose sleep for days and make sure the next time she spoke with her she would make it right. Grandma was a lady of grace and beauty.
In her younger days Grandma was a great cook and gardener. Grandma had beautiful vegetable and flower gardens. I remember her pot roasts and toast-it’s to name a few of her specialities. In later years she had a great list of numbers to order in and her love of food was always with her.
Grandma do you remember our last Christmas sitting with all of your family?
Grandma do you remember the last scrabble game we played?
Grandma do remember only a few years ago our last Christmas with Len?
These are things we will all cherish and remember.
That night holding her hand and she was not really able to talk, I shared with her memories of her life and she would squeeze my hand or try to smile or a look of sadness came when I spoke. I knew she was listening to each and every one of my little stories. I was trying to comfort her ….that little lady lying in that big hospital bed. I thought of her a mother to 5 (which included a set of twins), and all of the sleepless nights she must have had comforting an ill or scared child. She had shared many a story with me of her days she spent mothering her brood of 5 babes. We would always chuckle to each other and she would then tell me another story, or listen to something I had to share about my babes. We both shared having little people at ages 37 and 41 years of age.
I knew it was time for her to go but I didn’t want her to leave just yet. I still had many more things to share with you? Who will listen to all my stuff now? I wanted you to hear all of my new stories. I wanted to know how much love exists in my heart for you. Together holding hands that night we held the angels back for a few hours while we reminisced and shared one more story together. Only when I left you on your own when our hand broke contact did the angels win and I lost. For when I returned your heart was empty and your soul was gone. I still love you Grandma, I always will – Until we meet again.
Life is so short and soon we shall meet again.
Talk Soon ~